Trying to contain all that toxic waste is very unhealthy. And bingo!!! Which makes you question the way you look and dress, and could even make you wonder about your personality. He asked me out a week or 2 later, and we hang out almost every day, and he picks me up. my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? I have come to realize he is a weak pathetic person who cant build any trust in his marriage and frequently puts our marriage on the line for a piece of tail and to get his ego stroked. He was out of town and called me crying because she was filing for divorce but he wasnt sure that was what he wanted. He didnt answer my calls. So you can see where Im thrown off. All breakups hurry for a while but its not the end of the world and you will emerge a stringer, more confident, happier woman. He refuses to talk about it or even accept his own guilt. he deleted everything off his ipad. My husband is very smart so he can hide sum of the signs like wen he kums home he stil wants to hav sex but he always accuses me of things, hell kum home and look at the bed and snoop around, hes always saying im liying about sumthing or that im cheating. The second time I found out (a month later) he was in Iraq. why does that make you feel cheated? Its very clear. For instance, he says hes going to the gym but when you follow him you see him heading to another apartment instead. How do we gain back trust. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. I realized that after we got married. If your husband is best friends with a woman and leaving you out of the relationship, it may be an emotional affair. It sounds like youve been struggling with your husband for a long time, and youre confused about what to do. Living in the same house , sleeping in separate rooms . He wrote The Truth about Cheating because he wanted to empower women by showing them how men think which includes why husbands cheat on their wives. I feel like our stories have so many similarities. It doesnt seem likely that theyd both make up this stuff, just for the fun of it. I will say a prayer for all of you.please get away from the ones you are with who are cheating on their spouses I PROMISE you there is someone out there for you who will treat you perfect! I believe most women genetically have a strong ability to remain with one lover for life with out question. She was upset by my snarky comment. If he were truly unhappy, he should talk to you about his feelings and see if you cant work through it. I always felt and believed in being faithful to your partner, and always told myself if anyone ever cheated on me I would waste my time with themyet here I am with him because I love him, and feeling miserable and paranoid at times when he is not with me. these conversations are about how he wants to make them feel sexualy, where they are going ot meet, the one with my so called best friend says that he had gone there and that she was getting better at certin things. Do you feel that fateful night on your honeymoon began a cycle of mistrust that has spiraled to where you doubt some things he says are truthful today? Plz help. You get what You allow. Youve caught him cheating three times. But the things that occured a bit later. The open and honest communication you and your husband are having now is awesome. He denies it. And I said what did she want and he said she was just returning the call. Men love to look at younger, better bodied women. When asked about it, he said he wasasleep & he never heard the phone, but when at home or anywhere else he always answers even if hes asl. He is a good hearted guy and it may really be friendship but I want it to stop. If your husbands best friend is cheating, then the chances are higher that your husband may cheat on you. He says the new allegations are all in my head and that he does not know why Im accusing him of cheating on me when he loves me so much. After a year the girl was not with us anymore. Am I an idiot for staying with him? He already disrespected the relationship by (1) going over there and drinking (it should only be about his child) that doesnt require liquor. The road to mistrust started there and a year later I still dont trust them. I checked his phone and he had deleted the calls to and from her from his phone but I found them on the internet bill. It was all a game to her. I feel like he will cheat again. But I found something in his phone that made me question what happened up there . And she said she thought so to until one day she asked to borrow his phone real quick, and he walked away for a quick second. I can get past the junk everywhere and the dogs, but, I cant get past his lack of diligence in his job search and what I believe to be deception and lies to me now. Dont ever underestimate your partner. When hes with me, hes distant. And, your children will be devastated. Please help. are his privates, your private property? Here are 4 signs he wants you back but won't admit it (yet). Ive been in therapy a number of times for various issues. He was and always has been the most affectionate man who couldnt keep his hands off of me for 10vofctyesec12 years. I know EXACTLY what you mean .. that nagging feeling .. it is thegut instinct I keep reading about here .. In the meantimepay attention, do some research/ checking uppop into his work to take lunch to him or pop in just to say you missed him, theres all kind of spywear for phones and computers nowuse it. What should I do? They get bored and feel mistreated or unappreciated and unfulfilled. he said no that is why we are going out this side door. Wise up. When questioned he gets defensive ( although I am persistent so I may be the cause of this) tells me I am imagining things.His family was there and I feel awkward as subtle hints have emerged. I dont know that I even want to try anymore. When you were sick and alone in a new city with small children he abandoned you. In July 2015, he didnt come home at his regular time. But the caveat is that there are a lot of variants and factors that are not explained here that might impact whether someone cheats., Still, knowing that sexual personality characteristics and, for women, relationship factors are strong predictors suggests directions for therapeutic interventions, she said. My husband has been loving all this time except for some occassional fights u know. My boyfriend lied to me. I hate to be negative, but most likely your husband has done more than you have evidence for. But here we are 4 months later, things have gotten much better but I still find myself afraid that its going to happen again, I wish for this feeling to all go away, i wish it never happened but it did. My son begs me wait til he is in mid teens to leave his father, but am so misable. As I see it, most (all?) Through the years I have heard many stories from co-workers about he and 2 of his close friends who chased women every weekend while in the bars, cheating over and over again. I didnt ask him to deactivate his account that was his decision. A neighbor? It only helped for a little while but the images and anger always comes back. This will also give you the opportunity to reflect on anything you might have changed about your marriage if you had a second chance. He trimmed down there, because he said it was too hot out and he was also doing it for me. I didnt even recognize that I was severely depressed all those years! I have done nothing to him ive never cheated on him never flirted with guys. I even called this woman and politely asked if there was anything going on between my husband and her. He said he dreaded coming home and felt like he walked on egg shells. Twice that i know of. so i told him if i go alone i will have the baby early. I want so much to believe me but that little voice tells me hes not being faithful to me. Do you think I should encourge him to go out with the boys or am I just setting myself up for problems. Weve been together for 12 years, and he was my first, so I was not so much hurt as afraid that I would never be able to stand up on my own two feet if he leaves. I am in some desperate need of advice before I start ripping my hair out of my head. I cant seem to make him understand that I need him to stop lying before we can regain any trust. It will not get better. u deserve much better. I made a choice to envite another woman into my bed. after few days i told him why is he doing that to me, beside that he is staying with his son of 8 years how is the boy going to take it when he grow up. Theyll survive and bounce back kids are resilient especially if you maintain a healthy, strong attitude. My husband has accused me of cheating when he was in Afghanistan and I would constantly have to reassure him that I wasnt. So I have been suspecting my husband for a while of cheating on me (maybe more emotionally than physically). Your email address will not be published. Iam too in an uncertain relationship where I have come to believe he is a womaniser. He never told me he was going to be in the car with her. Ive had enough. My gut told me something was wrong. Anyway, for the last 3yrs he kept talking and texting the girl that posted pics of them kissing and being together on facebook. My husband started cheating when I left for a job. He denied , so did she. Everything the exwife told me about her husband and this woman is happenning to me now .Is there anyway I can get this man to leave me and move in with this woman, My husband paid lobola for me, but we have not finilised the traditional ceremony, but he is seeing his snons mother behind my back, Hi Im going through enough with my life as well Ive been talking to this guy for almost 2 years now he always told me he loved me an did almost anything for me then i found out he was married an now have a baby on the way i been involved with him for to long now i dont no what to do i no i need to call the quits but how someone help please. Tells me last night that our relationship is boring. As a young person, I know how painful it is to not know which adults you can trust. Am I being super paranoid or have a good gut feeling? Hed forgotten. i told him its over the same time the other lady react and tells him you did not tell me you got girlfriend then he said now you know as from today you should know you are 2. A text came in on his phone that read Sorry about our fight today. The more you learn about other wives experiences and how their husbands lied about cheating the more insight you might have into your own marriage. Wow Christine. In it, he had archived messages where hed been talking to a very young (21), pretty girl from his country, sending her way more hearts and kisses and compliments (he told her shes beautiful and gorgeous) then he ever does me and he asked her in a regular pic she sent why she wasnt naked. - Want to Know. This man has done nothing but bring me down in the 6 1/2 years weve been together. His dreams are never happy he says. Im afraid to leave because of what will happen next. I didnt know how to deal with my pain at first because his hurtful behavior was something I had never experienced before. He literally showed no remorse and to this day maintains that he did nothing wrong. He would tell me i didnt parent correctly considering he is a new parent. He gets upset with me if i go home at night. I then started checking his phone and his FB messages which talk about he they slept together and him having to pay for her morning after pill. I dont want to break down crying and I dont want things to end this way I understand if he didnt love me I would not be living with his mother. Its a terrible thing, to find out your husband has been cheating and lying. Overall I feel like this mancation will increase your self esteem and give you a since of having control in this out of control relationship with no intimacy or emotional connection. He was force to tell his wife and the polices his affairs, his one nightstands and what he did to meAfter all this, do I regret telling his wifeNO. If youve caught him red-handed, with love notes and pictures, thats one thing! Trust your inner feelings, you will find in the end you were right. It may give you fresh insight into your relationship.and yourself. My dysfunction upbringing was nothing compared to my hubbys step father. There is no doubt in my mind. When he got there he told me not to be blowing his phone up because he couldnt really talk while he was at work. The guys a jerk. (you can see the explenation if you click on my nickname as well..). I think, quite possibly just friends. Is he bluffing or what?.I beleive that if he really wants to leave he will leave now! AFTER ABOUT 3 WEEKS, I TOOK HIM UP ON HIS INVITATION TO COME TO HIS MOTEL ROOM. Thankfully, She was saying no to him and saying that isnt being very faithful. Youll find it helpful and enlightening to read the comments about cheating below. I was so deviated. when i confronted him, he said it was because of his work, that they were making an investigation on the lady in question, that he was doing that so that he can catch the lady. AMEN. May you find love, regardless of what happens with your marriage. Its like someone took something from me. Hi I have been dating with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. Awful. The best 1st birthday present she received. I cried on the phone to this woman all the while she was probably F-ing my husband. Years later I told him that was the cruelest thing a partner could do their spouse! I knew a couple that had the same issues. I need to tell you something honey that is of utmost importance. Sorry, you know he is lying and cheating. When he came back I asked who was he talking with and he said the sister of someone we know well. The bad news is that I cant respond personally to everyones comments, because I just dont have the time. I am currently getting help for my self..which he stated that he wanted to help me, he told me he was going to end his affair..but he still said he didnt feel the same about me ..I still love him very much. What is holding you back from walking out of your marriage? It means that at one point she over heard him talking about you in a positive way. We were in our teens when we got married and I do believe he loves me. Its so painful. Well nearly 2 years after trying to work things out with my husband and putting myself second to what he needs, i came home from work yesterday to find he has gone. I do little special things for him. A couple of months ago he decided that he wanted to go on a diet and shave his gotee. I said..why cant you date me NOW! He asked me to be his girl for over a year before I said yes. Should she still talk to him even if they are married, should she tell the wife what happened and have a chance with the man of her dreams, should she cut off all ties? This is excellent growth you and he and moving forward in your relationship. I dont trust him anymore. Im now 49. This woman is 26. Not only is the age gap ridiculous, its also unreasonable for him to have an emotional attachment to another woman. you dont like the guy? He has these blow up sessions where he will freak out on me when he finds out ive been threw his stuff. This was the first excuse he has ever given me. She said she didnt know where he was that she was not with her, she had left the shop. I dont know what to do with this? Now i really find my self just setting alone. Thoughts please. I think my husband has had an affair. That you are nuts? He runs his own company, and recently hired a bookkeeper at his company, I once saw a whatsapp message from the new lady (bookkeeper) to him with red lips (a kiss emoticon) when I confronted him about it, he said she again, sent another message apologizing about the mistake, that the message wasnt meant for him, I believed him. I pray for your future for you to have faith, courage, strength, and hope for your future, whatever it may hold. In June 2015, he did not come home one night. My husband was doing all 5 things starting more fights,which I thought was job stress, and sexually more distant, which I assumed was his diabetes. We were together about a year when he left. you cause so many marriages divorce and infidelity. I learned about the affair Christmas morning. I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). consider how many times you argue or quarrel, how close is your husband to the kids, does he support in the house though is drinking? She paused and gave him the phone and he was laughing talkin about he was just playing with me. At least you don't have kids with this lying, non-remorseful, s.o.b. But most every night i stay wide awake. His job is one where he doesnt have to check in with anyone really, but he spends all his time away from home. If you have evidence that they cheated, they will usually blame their actions on someone else. Couldnt come up with a reasonable answer. Then for 2011 i thought this would be the year life would turn around for us.. Little did i know he would pull another trick and ask my neice to do dirty things with him.. I suspected my partner having a one off fling and I ask him to take a lie detector test in our home which no one would know about and he refuses to do that to save our 20 year relationship and 4 kids, I recently found out that my friend had been secretly meeting at my partners place IV overheard her say to him long time no see, they had only seen each other an HR prior, my partner and I were arguing over the fact that he gets to check my fone anytime he wants and he makes it a huge deal that I ask to check his, so I asked him for it while my mate sat next to me on the bed, and instead of him throwing the fone to me hes thrown it to my mate instead, I went on his fone account prior to this and had seen many early morning texts and fone calls at times she should be home with her man, my intuition is telling me theyve slept together numerous times and that when he threw her the fone it was so she cud delete the messages from his fone before she handed it to me, 3 months later I was sitting at his table and he all of a sudden slid over to me and said I slept with her and I have a few times just telling u wat u wanted to hear and then he goes back to denying it and it comes straight back up when hes angry telling me he slept with her and then back to he didnt, am I getting this right or not, so sick of the gutless games, just tell the truth and own it, Then I can finally dump this morons ass and prove to my kids hes lied to us all, because the BS he tells them Im so sick of being the one at fault. Im so sorry you are going through this! He used to come home between 3:00-3:30 pm always except for when there were leaks of gas, then occasionally, hell call hell be late. All I can do is give you a few things to think about, and encourage you to talk to a counselor or friend that you trust. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Shift the blame onto me again, said they were now just friends blah blah blah.Well we went back and fourth with our marriage and still are..It has been a very difficult ride for us and our children..Everyone is suffering..but now we are taking action , I am going to work on myself first and then if everything falls into place our marriage will be worked on. could this been a sign that he is cheating on me. You can love a man, he can be a good man, and he can say he loves you back, support you financially. He always wanted to please her, he always offered to help her with her class-works (even to his own hurt). 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